I'm scared.

We'll get to the title in a minute.

Weird stuff is happening. We all remember the whole thing about the asking to prom yes? Yes. Good. Well someone sent my best friend a balloon on St. Patrick's Day. Nothing weird right? WRONG. It was from me. But not me. Like someone sent it from me, but it wasn't from me. Wtf right? I think it's cool how someone continues to pull jokes on me. I wish you'd tell me though, and I could prank you back. Then we could have good laughs about it. If you'd rather stay anonymous though I totally understand. Nbd- No big deal.

So, about me. I am an emotional person. I allow my emotions to control my life and also most of the decisions I make. If i'm in a good mood nothing else even matters. You can come and bitch me out I could almost care less. If i'm in a bad mood i'll bitch you out and the next day i'll expect you to think nothing of it. If i'm in one of those needy/sappy moods i'll tell you i'm sorry and follow up with a long list <-- i'm good at listing. About why I need you in my life. Blah. I also do things I wouldn't normally do. This blog is one of the things I wouldn't do. I'm not usually one to just give you my feelings, they're mine, you have to earn them and right now I (the non emotional me) doesn't want to share them but I (the emotional me, that consumes me right now) thinks that it's a good idea.

Mood #3- I'm scared. There's this girl, and I like her. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. Like so much, a lot. Take a lot and multiply it by a lot, then raise it to the power of a lot, and after all that you still aren't even close. And i'm afraid someone's going to ask her to prom. No one in particular but still. I don't think she wants to go with me now (there's problems kind of) but I don't want her to go with anyone else. But I doubt that she won't go when she gets asked. It being prom and all. I'm freaked out, and I know that I should be doing something else other than sitting here blogging but I don't know what to do. I'm confused, and scared, and scared, and scared. I'm shaking right now. I want to punch a wall. I've felt like that a lot lately. I can't do it at school because it'd hurt because of the concrete walls and I can't at home because i'd break a wall. She just makes me so mad and I get jealous as easy as hell. -Sigh- But I still care about her so much that it doesn't even matter how mad I get at her. Fuck.

I feel defeated after writing that. Like there's nothing I can do. Help please. I'm so lost.

The End.